last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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