Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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