Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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