I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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