No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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