he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
