so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
