Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
