ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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