he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
