All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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