i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
