ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
