Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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