you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
