so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
