A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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