At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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