Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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