I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
