guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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