just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize