So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
