Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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