he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize