I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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