They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize