Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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