dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
