We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
