Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
