Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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