Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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