I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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