Define "chronic" masturbator.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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