Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
