so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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