week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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