I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
