dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
