Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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