Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Randomize