Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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