How'd it feel making her break her religion?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
