Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
