This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
