Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
