420 ftw
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
