I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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