Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
