I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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