O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
