I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please