I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..