I'm gonna have a badass scar
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
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It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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