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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  my professor just said "the power of the situation"

  (216): View more from Ohio

  drink

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.

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• (818): View more from California

  Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.

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