My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
