brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he's gonorrhea incarnate
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
