YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
