That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
