I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
