Who wears a wallet chain?!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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