is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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