so that wasnt chicken after all
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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